Catastrophic Calm

Last night I dreamt that burning planes were falling from the sky
Twisters were tearing through the fields
You just stood and stared in a pair of heels
Something was awry
There was a glint in your eye
You were biting into an apple with a thick red peel

When I snapped awake, you were fast asleep by my side
Your face all angelic, your hair a mess
Honey, you were looking your best
I wish I could’ve seen
Whatever visions lit your dreams
I touched your hair and pulled the blanket over your breast

This morning I’ll get out of bed long before the sun
It’s a habit that I just can seem to break
Put my headphones on, get the gloves and rake
The world serene and still
In the early morning chill
It’s a sweet and it’s a silent sort of ache

Honey, you mean more to me
Than you will ever know, you see
I’m not real good at saying what I’m thinking
It’s been thirty years, give or take
Summer weekends by the lake
Odd jobs here and there when we started sinking

Sometimes I imagine where my life would be
If I did things differently
But I don’t let that train take me very far
I’m happy where I am—where we are

When I was a kid, sometimes I couldn’t fall asleep
Afraid a man would climb in through the window
Cut my throat and take my stuffed dog Bingo
Pictured all the things I’d do
When that thief came climbing through
Tucked that dog real safe under my pillow

The other week a silver car came careening from behind
And picked up speed ‘till it smashed into a pole
Burst into flames—smoke and all
Didn’t know what the hell to do
Had a strange sense of déjà vu
Dialed 911, but never placed the call

The kids are all grown up now, living their own lives
Nothing I said ever seemed to make a dent
I check in sometimes, make sure they can cover rent
When they were small, I was working late
But I did my best to raise them straight
Still working out where all those memories went

Honey, you mean more to me
Than you will ever know, you see
I’m not real good at saying what I’m thinking
It’s been thirty years give or take
We never caught that lucky break
Everything rushed past without us blinking

Sometimes I entertain this little fantasy
Where I do things differently
But I’m grateful how things turned out for me so far
I’m happy where I am—where we are

I’m not gonna lie
When the planes are falling from the sky
I find it more exciting than alarming
I find you quite inviting and disarming
There’s probably something wrong with me
Blame it on too much TV
But I can’t think of anyone it’s harming
Standing there dressed all in white
An apparition, a trick of light
It’s a catastrophic calm that I find charming

Sometimes I indulge a little fantasy
Where I do things differently
Where my dreams are not so vivid and bizarre
But I’m happy where I am—where we are